


It's Only You I'm Thinking Of

by prayformalec



Series: Tumblr Fic Prompts [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 14:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15687360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prayformalec/pseuds/prayformalec
Summary: A glimpse into the thoughts of Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood





	It's Only You I'm Thinking Of

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iwillstayalive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillstayalive/gifts).



> For my darling Carla, ily

_I think I’m in love with you,_ Magnus thinks for the first time when Alec stares willingly into his eyes, his _real_ eyes, and tells him that he is beautiful. Alec’s gaze is so earnest, so desperately genuine and _hopeful_ , of all things, that he remains at a lost for words for just a moment too long. He lets this feeling settle in between his ribs, filling crevices that he didn’t know were empty until he chokes on the doubts that Alec’s softness pushes out of him. Alec continues to stare, smiling gently, allowing Magnus time to gather himself. Magnus blinks, slowly, then turns his head to kiss the center of Alec’s palm.

 _I think I’m in love with you,_ Magnus wants to say, but instead, he mutters, “You’re beautiful,” pulling Alec into a deep kiss, and allows himself to hope.

 

 _But I love him,_ Alec wants to scream into every hallway and corner that he turns down, only finding more carnage, more casualties of the mass destruction caused by Valentine’s hatred, and no evidence of Magnus. The Institute is too big, he decides, opening doors and climbing staircases that he’s never even seen before. Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike rush around him, shouting for loved ones, and Alec joins them, a broken “Magnus” escaping his lips as a constant prayer to Raziel. He’s never known this fear before.

 _But I love him,_ he sobs in his head. Walls spin and his stomach turns with each passing minute. Night turns to day, the vice around his heart only tightening as he checks each room twice, three times, when he finally decides to run outside. The sun burns his eyes after hours in darkness, but the tears in his eyes have been there for much longer.  

 _But I love--_ a hand grabs Alec’s arm, and the earth starts to settle underneath him. He can’t get Magnus in his arms fast enough, words falling freely from his lips, offering thanks for his answered prayer. “Magnus, I love you.” _I love you I love you I love you,_ he thinks, his world turning on the shape of Magnus’ lips, and he no longer feels afraid.

 

 _I’ll never leave you again,_ Magnus tries to tell Alec through their frantic kisses, sucking a bruised reminder for both of them on his neck. Alec gasps, gently hooking his nails under Magnus’ shoulder blades and presses his entire body into him. It had been less than 3 days, but Alec _can’t live without him_ , and just the thought alone sets Magnus’ entire body ablaze with a fire that only Alec can extinguish.

 _I’ll never leave you again._ He doesn’t realize that he's said it out loud until Alec slides down on the bed in order to cradle Magnus’ head in his hands and look him in the eye. Magnus hopes that he never has to see Alec cry again. Even though the gentle kisses Alec uses to catch his tears distract him momentarily, Magnus feels Alec’s guilt. It swirls underneath his skin, escapes through his soft caresses, just present enough to not be ignored.

 _I’m sorry I made you have to,_ Alec’s guilt yells, but he only whispers it into Magnus’ hair. He hears it though, of course, he hears it, and he shakes his head, nose brushing against Alec’s chin. Tears fall from both of their eyes now, and Magnus takes his turn to kiss them away. They both know what’s waiting for them tomorrow: field reports and honest conversations and trying to fix something they didn’t know was broken. But for now, Alec melts into Magnus as he pulls his hair and tries to drown in his kiss.

 

 _Our kids would adore you,_ he thinks, and Magnus almost drops his mug. Alec, always a soldier and always aware, gives Magnus a questioning glance from where he sits with Madzie, reading her a book. Magnus gives him a soft smile which Alec returns before turning back to Madzie with yet another new character voice. He just looks so _natural_ sitting there, like he had been reading storybooks to kids for his entire life. And, suddenly, the thought of storybooks and pillow fights and a _life like this with Alexander_ causes a shiver of excitement to run through him, and Magnus finally understands the hope that he saw in Alec’s eyes when he told him he was beautiful.

 _I can’t wait to have kids with you,_ Alec thinks, not for the first time, because from the moment they said “relationships take effort,” he knew that he wanted everything. He wanted the long nights and the first days of school and teaching them how to drive. It scares him, sometimes, just how far into the future he has imagined, worries that he’s hoping for too much. But it’s times like this, making Madzie laugh while Magnus smiles fondly from across the room, that Alec lets himself dream of the future that he thought he could never have.

 

 _I want to marry you,_ they think in the same moment, and it’s the easiest thing in the world. Alec sees the candles dancing in Magnus’ eyes and smiles wildly at the thought of gold and blue. He takes Magnus’ hand, and Magnus, who had tucked a piece of Alec’s hair and realized that he wanted to do this forever, swipes his thumb across Alec’s ring finger. They meet in the middle, noses and foreheads and lips softly aligning, and Magnus settles his fingers at the nape of Alec’s neck, brushing back the wisps of hair that he’s let grow too long. Neither move more than that, content to just sit and enjoy the memorized shape of the other’s lips.

 _I want to marry you,_ Magnus murmurs against Alec’s lips. He knows that of all the things that he has said and thought in his long, immortal life, this would always be one of his favorites.

 _I’ve always wanted to marry you,_ Alec breathes back, and they spend the evening in each other’s arms, getting lost in hopeful futures and whispered promises.

  


**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter (@prayformalec_) and tumblr (prayformalec) if you don't mind my chaotic mess


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